I will be a guest on the RYW speaker sessions this coming Monday Aug. 26 at 11am PST, discussing how to uncover inner hidden barriers. If you wish to join, you can register here, or go to https://www.rewiringyourwellness.com/rywevents
You may have read my previous blog about overcoming rumination from a brain retraining and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) based perspective. Today's blog looks at rumination from a deeper perspective. When we hit up against those repetitive thought processes that simply don't respond to basic brain retraining or CBT tools, it is typically a sign of deeper dysregulation issues. In these cases, rumination is not the problem itself, it is a symptom of a nervous system caught in a sympathetic response. How we address it needs to reflect the root cause rather than the symptomatic expression. This requires a different approach.
To start, it is important to observe and become familiar with the flavour or themes of our ruminations. For example, some of us persistently ruminate about unresolved issues with people, issues that may never get addressed or resolved. We may have family members who are dysfunctional, who don't take responsibility for themselves or do their own healing work. Or maybe they don't understand chronic conditions and resort to blaming and shaming us or dismiss our needs. In cases such as these, there is often righteous anger that accompanies the thoughts. It isn't right or fair, and in a just world this wouldn't be happening. The fact that there's truth to what we are thinking makes those ruminations even more enticing to perseverate on. In these situations we need to remember that people are who they are; no amount of ruminating about them or wishing they were different is going to change that. Change only happens when the person themself wishes to change and is willing to do the work. Ruminating about what is only hurts us, it doesn't change the situation. Loosening the hold that the ruminations have on us is not letting them off the hook, it is an act of kindness toward ourselves. When we start to acknowledge this we can begin to step back and recognize that changing these ruminations isn't about negating the truth of the thoughts, or trying to override them with opposites. It is about accepting they are true, taking a step back and seeing the dysregulation in our nervous system that accompanies these ruminations. You may feel it as energy or vibrations in your body, you may fidget, have trouble sitting still or doing one thing at a time, you might notice your mind racing, or your body might be exhausted and wired simultaneously.
Using this awareness we begin to tune into the energy behind the thoughts instead of the thoughts themselves. This is sympathetic activation. The next step is to discharge that activation energy. A place to start is to feel into the energy or sensations in your head that go with the overthinking. Once we have felt into it, with our intention we simply invite this energy to disperse, traveling down our bodies and out our arms and legs. We can shake out our legs and arms to help with this process. Energy follows attention so as you shift your attention from the energy in your head to shaking your arms and legs, that stuck sympathetic energy will follow. We can also do this with other areas of the body that we notice are holding tension as we are caught up in thoughts, inviting that energy to dissipate and release out our extremities. Once you get familiar with discharging that energy, you can then advance to tuning into see what it is your body wants to do in the moment as you notice the energy behind the thoughts. Is there a movement, or sound that is arising spontaneously? (This is something you simply sense into and the answer arises, not an intellectual exercise. If you are unsure, then go back to shaking it out). We want to adopt a mindset of curiosity and openness as we engage in these practices.
Let's use another example of a typical type of rumination. In this version, we might overthink social interactions. We might replay what we said and what the other person said, analyzing an interaction and wondering what the other person thinks of us or if we said/did the right thing. Alternatively we might be repeatedly mentally rehearsing what we are going to say, making up scenarios in our mind and playing out how we would handle them. However it expresses, in these cases there is an underlying feeling of insecurity within ourselves. This usually stems from issues around self-worth, security or belonging. We can use the same discharge process as described above, but here it would also be useful to do some inner child or parts work with the younger part of us that feels not good enough or insecure.
There are many different ways to do parts work and you can use what works for you. Here is a simple version that works well. First we start by connecting with our own inner strengths and resources: the strong, confident, wise, calm, loving, grown up version of ourselves. Then we invite the part of us that feels "less than" to join us (sometimes by tuning into a memory of the last time you felt that way you can easily bring up that part, or you can go by where you feel it in the body and breathe into that area with support and acceptance to access it). Once we have that part at the forefront, we want to create space to hear what it has to say, how it feels. It is important that we take the time to understand its world and its perspective before we go trying to support it or update it with new information. Our inner child needs to be seen, heard, understood & validated (this is what was missing in the first place and is a big part of why we have this stuck part). As we hear how it feels, it is helpful to reflect it back to the part. (e.g., "I understand you feel...(pause), and what else do you feel?"). Keep asking until all it has to share has been said.
Then we can move to asking what it needs, and reflect that back. If it wants a hug or support from you of some kind, you can provide that through your imagination. At times or in cases where we cannot provide what it needs, simply acknowledging the need with empathy and reflecting it back is enough (e.g., "I hear that you need..."). If it doesn't know what it wants, that is okay too. We can reassure the part that we are here with it. It is not alone anymore.
Once we have gotten a sense of its feelings and needs, we then offer reassurance and support. This comes in the form of verbalizing to this part our caring & empathy, our validation (i.e. that it is understandable it feels that way) and our wisdom. We can offer guidance and perhaps updated information about being an adult and how our needs are met now. When we reach a place where the conversation feels done, we can tuck that part of us into our hearts to revisit it at another time. Working with parts isn't a one-off thing. This is something we want to come back to, especially when we are noticing the familiar patterns showing up.
If you are unfamiliar or uncomfortable with parts work, considering working with a mentor or coach to help you. Usually once we have experienced it a few times we can then do it on our own much more easily. Remember it is not an intellectual exercise. It is a "feeling-into", or "sensing-in" experience, allowing the answers to arise spontaneously.
Working with ruminations by seeing them as energy and discharging them is what will help break the cycle, especially with the persistent ones. When applicable, follow it up with the deeper level parts work. It is important to engage in these practices from a place of loving kindness and self compassion to the best of your ability. This is deep transformational work, and it can yield profound results!
Best wishes!
Caelum's Insights (A Functional Neurology Perspective):
Often times when dealing with carpal tunnel syndrome people may wear a “cockup
splint”. This is used to make sure the individual is keeping their wrist in proper position
and is not cutting off the blood supply to the nerve. It is important to maintain
representation of the wrist and hand in the brain and that is hard to do without movement.
However, the brain is lovely and activates even just by thinking about moving the wrist
without actually doing so. One technique used by functional neurologists to help maintain
that representation and reduce negative side effects of the splint incorporates this. A
photo is shown to the individual of a hand curled up in a funny position and the person is asked
to discern if it is the right or left hand. By doing this exercise the individual will think
about moving their wrist into the position shown in the photo and thus activating that
region of the brain. The same principle can be applied to any part of the body where we have reduced or restricted movement to help the brain-body connection. Individuals can imagine movement in any area or muscle to stimulate the connection.
To see the list of upcoming events & opportunities, click here.
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Candy Widdifield, M.Ed. candywiddifield.com candy.thriving@gmail.com
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