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Dear Candy Q&A: The Importance of Connecting to Something Beyond Self

Candy Widdifield

May 8, 2023

3 min read

Often when we talk about connecting with something greater than ourselves, people think of it in terms of religion or spirituality. That does not have to be the case (and if you do have a religious figure or spiritual belief that does fit with this, that is great too!) There are many things to connect with and ways to connect that go beyond religious beliefs or spiritual preferences.

Connecting with something greater than ourselves while retraining is important because it helps our nervous system to settle and feel more safe/secure in the world. When we feel like we are on our own, like we have to do it all ourselves, or like we are not supported, it causes us to tense up and brace against the world. It adds more stress and feelings of anxiety. Both the physical tension and the mental and emotional patterns resulting from this feed the unhelpful pathways in the brain and make progress toward wellbeing a little slower.

We know that humans are biologically wired for connection, and that connection is an important contributing aspect to wellbeing. But connection can (and does) go beyond simply connecting to other people. It is useful to connect to something you believe in or already feel a relationship to, and to let yourself relax into feeling supported by it. For some, it may be a connection to trees, bodies or water, or the natural world in general. For others, it may be a sense of the vastness of the universe and how we are a part of something so much bigger. Or perhaps a connection to all the other people on the planet, recognizing we are one big human family.

Quantum physics tells us that everything is made up of energy and that everything is connected. We can sense into the energy of love, vitality, or life force that is all around us. We can tune into the frequency or vibration of healing and health. The beautiful thing about connecting in one of the aforementioned ways, or to a religious or spiritual figure, is that they are constant, always present, and never changing. Unlike humans who can be a little less predictable and are subject to good days and bad days, nature, energy, the universe or the divine are always there, always available, and welcoming of your connection to them.

Once we have established what we wish to connect to, the next step is to let go or relax into it, and open ourselves up to receive from it. This is accomplished primarily through intention, practice, and repetition. Over time we cultivate the feelings of connection and support, and let our systems be held and restored by that. This helps to reset the nervous system and send signals to the brain that we are safe and all is well. Sensing into and making connections with that which is greater sets our brain and nervous system up for success moving forward.

Until next time!

If you have a question or would like a blessing for healing, please email me at


Candy Widdifield is Certified Master Coach, Registered Reiki Master Teacher and former Registered Clinical Counsellor, living in Calgary Alberta, Canada. She has a background in brain retraining & nervous system regulation, trauma, grief & loss, mindfulness, somatic therapy, & positive psychology. She taught the DNRS in-person program for 5 years, has over a decade of experience coaching brain re-trainers & provides mentorship to other coaches. Candy works with people all over the world, helping them to optimize their wellbeing and thrive in their lives. More information about Candy can be found at


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