What Are You Focused On?

Some of you may be familiar with the Indigenous/Native American story of the two wolves. It goes like this:

An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life.

He said, "A fight is going on inside me," he told the young boy, "a fight between two wolves.

The Dark one is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The Light Wolf is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you grandson…and inside of every other person on the face of this earth.”

The grandson ponders this for a moment and then asked, "Grandfather, which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee smiled and simply said, "The one you feed".

The same principles applies to retraining the brain & nervous system. While I would not call the maladaptive pathways "evil", they are not conducive to our wellbeing. And it is true that what we feed is what wins, or what we focus on is what grows. So my question to you today is, how much time are you spending focusing on trying to get rid of what you don't want versus focusing on creating what you do want? Take a moment to really reflect on this and be honest with yourself, without judgment, simply observing where you are currently at.

Some retrainers get caught up in trying to change their current experience by becoming overly fixated on what needs to change. They push against what is, fight with their negative thoughts or symptoms in a desperate attempt to make them go away because they just want to feel better. They do their practice rounds and interventions with a similar goal - trying to get rid of what they don't want. Sometimes they become fearful of not doing enough or overly hypervigilent around trying to not activate the old pathways, not realizing that this fear and hypervigilence is feeding what they are trying to undo. All of the energy behind their retraining efforts is coming from fear, pressure, desperation or lack, and the focus is on "getting rid of" instead of "creating the new."

It is a skill to be able to cultivate the curious observer, use it to become aware of your symptom thought patterns and automatic negative thoughts, and yet not make this the sole focus. It requires a light attention on what isn't working and using that awareness only as a springboard into what is useful and health affirming. Bring the focus onto what it is you wish to replace these old habits and patterns with. The founder of the Gupta Program talks about approaching retraining with lightheartedness and playfulness for this very reason. Keep it light and use your awareness of the old simply as information indicating when you need to intervene. The majority of your attention then goes toward the alternative. This requires a level of faith and trust that by doing this, changes will happen. The old no longer needs our attention and it is by removing our attention that the new is able to become more dominant.

You may also want to ask yourself if you are clear on what you want instead. How you want to be in the world, what that feels like, how you would interact with others and how they would respond to you. Answer these questions from your heart, your deepest wishes and longings, not from your head. Recognize that it's not so much about the activities you will be doing (although these are helpful along the way) it is about how you are showing up in the world, interacting with others and with yourself, what your attention is on, how you are feeling, and what the world around you looks like as a result of these positive inner shifts.

It's difficult to overcome the old habits and patterns if we don't know how we want to be in the world instead, so it is really important to spend some time reflecting on this and getting clear on what is important to you. You may not have all the answers but by taking some time with this, you can get a starting point on how you really want to be in the world. And if you have already done this but it has been a while, revisit it with an open curious mind and see if what you had in mind is still relevant and applicable now. Make sure it is in alignment with what you truly want in your heart. See if there is anything you might like to refine or add at this point in your journey. Once you have clarity on what you want, it will be easier to shift your focus away from what you are changing and onto what you are creating. Feed the Light Wolf, it's time.

Best wishes!

Caelum's Insights (A Functional Neurology Perspective):

Often times when we are in a splint or a cast we have a lot of pain after it is removed. We

may also tend to bump into more things with that limb than normal. This is due to the

reduction in feedback from that area of the body to the brain. The firing and movement of

the muscles are what allows the brain to know where the body is in space and have

feedback of the joint position. Without this movement the brain needs to resort to other

means of receiving information. One way the brain can do this is by causing pain

signals in said area. Often times pain can be reduced simply by reteaching the brain

where that body part is in space. Movement and awareness of the movement is one of

the best ways to make sure the brain is getting the feedback it needs and prevent the

need for pain stimulation.

If you have any questions you would like answered in this blog or to be added to my coaching waitlist, please email me at candy.thriving@gmail.com

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Candy Widdifield, M.Ed. candywiddifield.com candy.thriving@gmail.com