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  • Writer's pictureCandy Widdifield

Dear Candy Q & A: Ho'oponopono

Candy Widdifield

Jul 25, 2022

Ho'oponopono is a Hawaiian forgiveness ritual that assists us in letting go and moving forward in the places where we are stuck. "Ho'oponopono is a simple way of arriving at unity, inner peace and returning to harmony.... Ho'oponopono is a method of purification that cleanses us from fears and worries, destructive relationship patterns, and any religious dogmas or paradigms that oppose our personal and spiritual development. It cleans out blockages in our thoughts and cell structure, for our thoughts are made manifest in our body."Ulrich E. Dupree

According to this tradition, it is our thoughts, grounded and reinforced by long time experiences that have now lost their validity, that impact our ability to be healthy, happy, and have abundance in our lives. Because this tool works to directly clear thought patterns, it can be a nice compliment to any brain retraining program.

If something is bothering you, you are having trouble letting go of thoughts or past experiences, or someone is triggering you, repeat the following statements with sincerity to yourself until you notice a shift.

I'm sorry

Please forgive me

I love you

Thank you

To use this tool successfully, we need to keep the following steps in mind:

  1. Start by connecting with something greater than yourself (in whatever form fits for you)

  2. Briefly reflect on and accept the problem at hand

  3. Take 100% responsibility for the problem in your life (it doesn't matter who created it. It is currently affecting you and the idea is that we all have a part to play in whatever is affecting us, therefore by taking responsibility for it we can shift it)

  4. Be ready, following forgiveness, to handle things differently

  5. Pardon and forgive (for yourself, not the other person, so you can let go and move forward)

  6. Give thanks and acknowledge the blessing that has been received

Like most things brain related, the more you use it, the more powerful and helpful it becomes. You can also say it to yourself, 10 times a day morning and night, to strengthen your self-love & self-compassion.

For a more comprehensive explanation of the four phrases and specific ways you can use the Ho'oponopono practice, I recommend the small but impactful book Ho'oponopono: The Hawaiian forgiveness ritual as the key to your life's fulfillment by Ulrich E Dupree, available through Amazon.

Until next time!

If you have a question, please email me at


Candy Widdifield is Registered Clinical Counsellor, Wellness Coach, and Registered Reiki Master Teacher in Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada. She has a background in nervous system regulation, trauma, grief & loss, mindfulness, somatic therapy, & positive psychology. She taught the DNRS in-person program for 5 years, has over a decade of experience coaching brain re-trainers & provides mentorship to other coaches. Candy works with people all over the world, helping them to optimize their wellbeing and thrive in their lives. More information about Candy can be found at


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